Shorts Means Easy Access... To Advertising Silly

Hope you all remember my previous post about being required to wear shorts at work for the next month. While it was yet another interesting quirk from my awesomely creative company, I knew from the cameras at the announcement and already created press release that there were some PR advantages to be had here.

Yes the Trib came in and took pictures, and I knew that some blogs had picked up the story, but I didn't understand the extent of this viral campaign until I got "The Email". The partner in charge of PR tell us that tomorrow, The New York Times is sending a photographer to take our picture for a story about our quirky little agency that makes their employees wear something other than long pants in order to beat the heat and boost morale. I then knew the power of PR.

I decided that I would do a Google search of "Richter7 No Pants" and see what came up. I went 3 pages deep before I just gave up, with every link being about the Richter7 policy. Mostly it was sites or blogs that had just picked up the press release. However, mixed in there were CNBC and USAToday. My favourite comment about the story, and one that summed up my sentiments, was from one Sean P. Means, the "Culture Vulture" writer of the Trib. Sean says,

The "No Long Pants" policy may not save the planet, but it may prove something to clients: If Richter7 can drum up publicity for its clients half as much as it drums up publicity for itself, customer satisfaction is guaranteed. –Sean P. Means

When I first told people that this was clearly a PR effort for the company they asked, "Why would you do PR for yourself?" I responded,"Because we consider ourselves a client." How can you sell anybody else if you can't sell yourself (not on the street you dirty people)?

Anyway, in other somewhat related news, the people that I work with are crazy. I swear each person is a character and each one is different. We have whiny, spazzy, giddy, prudy, stylish, reclusive, and dementia. We are like the Richter 7 dwarfs. It is hilarious and awesome. (As a side note, I am not sure how they keep it so cold in this building. It is like an icebox, and the windows are massive and old, and the doors are made of glass.)

Another somewhat related issue is my feelings about jean shorts. Jean shorts are one of the worst fashion faux pas of all time. However, I am giving a pass this summer to the long, cut off, frayed, tight jeans that the "emos" are wearing. I have seen a lot of these lately. Now I will not stand for the additional roll up, but the fray is okay I guess. However, I am giving a one season limit to this pass, and posers need not apply (i.e. I will not be wearing these as I am not an emo).

-"I'm hungry." - "Why don't you sit there and feast on your own body fat?"

Gold's Gym and I have kissed and made up. Once again I will be using them to keep my body svelte and attractive (well more so ;) ). My first day back will be today and then I think I will be back at Spinning on Thursday. I also got another one of my Q3 goals done yesterday. I am on a roll... now time to stop eating them.

Sex and the City

Last night was Thursday so that means it is time for all of the little hussies to go out. First I went to see Amanda's new diggs. Then I went to the Gallivan again. It was much better this time. I only had to stand in line for about 10 minutes before I got a (read 2) beer(s) as compared to the hour long ordeal last time. Once again it was a reunion. I like that. I ran into this girl Meghan that I met at a wedding a couple of weeks ago. She is like a girl version of me. She was rocking the bangs mod style with a black top, leatherette leggings with yellow day glow stilettos and pink day glow nail polish. Hot! Of course we ran into some Judge kids. I actually at one point was eavesdropping on a conversation and all I heard them say was , "Judge, Judge, pack our fudge!" Seemed very apropos.

After Gallivan we went to Murphy's which was awesome. There I harassed Oliver's brothers. One was driven away twice by my graphic comments. The other I made fun of because he put his hair into a half up bun. I told him he looked like Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai. Of course we ran into more people there, especially after the concert ended and people started to trickle in. Actually I was kinda dissed by Julianne Hancock. I was pissed.

After Murphy's I went to The Door. By that point it was a bit fuzzy, but I remember being naughty (more on that on my MySpace blog). However, I did avoid the person that I said I was going to start to avoid in last week's blog. Good for me. Also I saw some lesbian wearing the same pinstripe shorts I bought yesterday. Made me rethink my purchase a bit, but I gave her props.

One thing I kept focusing on last night was how much I love the city of Salt Lake. I love being downtown and smelling the summer city air. I love standing in the crowded Gallivan with all of your favorite peeps, looking at the highrises that soar above. I love the bike culture that is developing. I love that everyone knows everyone. I love how many hot and funny people call Salt Lake home. I swear it is like guzzling from the cup of life. Make sure you enjoy and appreciate it this weekend.

"You're a Functioning Alcoholic"

Last night was fickin' awesome. Lindz, Nate, and I decided to go blow off some steam and watched the All-Star game at Lumpy's. I care nothing about baseball, but I would like to congratulate all of the beers that I drank and the shot that I took. You guys are the really winners and in much less innings. Anyway, the 3 of us laughed so hard. Our conversation was so RAW!

The reason that we needed to go out was that life has been a bit frustrating. Don't get me wrong, things for the most part are great, but I think that we are all starting to feel the weight of adulthood. I am having many more conversations about bills, careers, relationships (aka my want to settle into one), and the most adult topic of all - real estate.

I guess for me I have been a little bit off and out of balance since I felt my previous agency. Not because I missed it or because it grounded me. I do miss the people and it was a great learning experience, but I think in many ways it put me in a rut that I needed to get out of. At first it was great as I had a lot of fun; mixed things up; caused some trouble (not really). Then I got back to work and have been focusing on that, which has been great. However, I have realized that this past few months I have neglected some areas of my life. I need a new gym membership, I need to go to the dentist (and probably the doctor), and I need new cable and internet service. All are goals for Q3.

Above that, I have found other frustrations within my life that I want to address; namely my living situation. I love my roommates and all, but of course they can be frustrating. Plus I end up feeling like the dad of the house even though I'm the youngest. I am really at the point where I want to buy a place and have more control over my environment. I need serenity outside of work as my professional life can be stressful. Today at work in fact was crazy as the printer wasn't working (for the second day in a row and when I needed to print a lot of stuff), my computer was moving at the speed of Special Olympic hurdler and was just being weird, and we were trying to launch a campaign for tomorrow and nothing was going right with the creative. At some point you just say fuck it.

Honestly though as I start to take care of the issues that are frustrating me, it just gets worse. Trying to get your financial "house" in order, in order to get a house, makes you want to strangle someone. I consolidated my student loans recently and my automatic payments got all jacked ( I ask you where does a voided check that was UPS'd with the other documents that allowed this transaction to go through go?). When I tried to just log in and make a payment while I worked out that situation, apparently my SSN, DOB, and Zip do not match in their database. I need a drink.

Then I get indecisive with the small things. I have been debating gyms, dentists, and digital cable solutions for months. I am clearly a whack job.

Anyway, moral of the story is that I need to take a chillaxative, and just take care of business. More importantly, some times you need to lose a bit of focus, aka blow off a little steam, in order to regain focus... well and so you don't go off on someone.

"Don't you guys think Jarett looks like a model?"

Wow, lots of posts today, but when things happen, they happen. Last week a did a photo shoot for a stock photo company. No it was not Zoolander style, although I could work that. The "concept" was basic young office people doing office type things (at least this is how I describe it). One of the partners told me the photographer said they turned out well and I did a good job. I called BS on this as most of the time I thought we were doing a light test and not actually being filmed. However, I did make it in all of the shots that they liked. Okay I love self-promotion, but even I am about to throw up. Here's a sample:

Take Off Your Pants and Jacket

One day I was walking in the house after work and Nate asks,"Is this casual Thursday or something," referring to the fact that I was wearing shorts and flip flops that day. I explained, as I do to everyone, that one of the great things about my job is that I can wear anything I want as long as I don't have a client meeting scheduled.

Today Richter took it a bit further. They called us all into a meeting and announced that for the next month we are not allowed to wear long pants or we will be fined. Yes, that's right, I must wear shorts, or a skirt, or a dress to work or I will be fined. The reason you ask. Well because it's hot, and it will help us to be more creative. To push this even further, they are going to purchase a pair of shorts for all of us. We just need to buy them and expense them. They have even issued a press release to the media about this (if it gets picked up I will link it).

Oh I love my job and everyone knows it. However, even I have to admit we get a little bit crazy. It is nice to work in an environment that encourages creativity and out of the box thinking.

On another note, I had a dream last night that I went back to Datamark. It had completely changed and people worked in big groups in different rooms. I spent the day checking in on everyone else's group because I did not want to go work with my team. Me and my therapist will be discussing this week.


... So since I originally posted this blog, the Trib is coming in to take a picture of us on in our shorts on Thursday. PR is a wonderful thing.

Oh You Dumb Bitch

Most of you know how much I love trashy television. One of the trashiest, yet funniest shows is Keeping Up With the Kardashians on E! One of my favorite episodes is when Khloe (you know the frumpy one that has never been on a reality show, or done anything worth fame other than having a sister with her ass insured) gets a DUI. Of course as happens with that situation, it devolves into a horrible mess trying to get people out of jail and hide it from parents for as long as possible. Inevitably the parents need to find out, and their mom Kris says something that I love as she is furious that they wasted so much time trying to hide everything while just letting Khloe sit in jail. She says something to the effect of, "What?!? You're just sitting here while Khloe's in jail?!? You know we call Robert (Shapiro) and it's over!" She illuminates the fact that they call their high powered attorney who served on the OJ defense team with their dad, and everything is taken care of.

Kris was right and everything was taken care of... Until now. Khloe apparently didn't not want to stick to the terms of her probation (like go to an alcohol treatment class), so now she has to go to jail. Oh Khloe, you are so stupid. In an article I read about this, in mainstream media nonetheless, they specifically mention that other "more famous" celebs have gotten out of jail early in situations like this because of overcrowded jails, essentially saying she probably isn't famous enough to get the celeb treatment... which she's not. Khloe just go to the class! You had nothing else to do. Higher some other monkey (or the sisters that are actually suppose to be the other monkeys) to run DASH for the day.

Anyway, that was not the point of this post. Actually I was just impressed that there was a decent picture of Khloe out there. She almost doesn't look like a lesbian don't you think? Perhaps jail will work for her.

Christian Bale is Fucking Cheesy

Hey y'all. I had a nice little weekend. I wasn't feeling well on Friday so I just stayed in to recoup. It was kinda nice and gave me an early start on Saturday.

On Saturday I went to Babylon at Bliss. It was okay. At least it was different. However, the name sucks, the drinks were poorly made (aka I could taste the cola in my long island), and because it was new everyone in their dog was there and I kept running into people, some I did not want to see. Then of course I got drunk and pissy. It worked out alright though.

Funny story, the cab driver over to the beginnings of my "after club journeying" hit on me and I totally took the digits which I was supposed to use to "call after 3". Luckily I'm not that crazy, but it is a funny story (you know me and "the story"). Plus Nate and I got treated to the story of the girls in the cab before us that were flashing. I swear I literally asked if I was on Taxi Cab Confessions.

Anyway, Sunday was Tyson's BBQ, and I got wayyyyyy drunk. Look at what we did to Christian Bale, and to my magazine bible, Details (that needs a whole nother blog). Sadly shortly after this picture I licked all of the cheese off of Mr. Bale, and even more sad I have another similar picture with Ryan Seacrest on the cover of Details which is completely unrelated.

Anyway, I can't wait for this weekend so I can see the Dark Knight...

P.S. Doesn't Mr. Bale look the Captain from Captain Morgan Rum in this picture?

The Roots

Last night was a little bizarre. I first I felt like I was bribing people to come see an awesome show for free, and then we ended up having a nice group. It kinda made me feel old. Anyway.

So of course the Gallivan was packed. We waited in the beer line for an hour. Then we waited in the line for the bathroom for 2o minutes. Then we left. I didn't even get to hear The Seed.

Of course every outing at the Gallivan is like a reunion. Saw lots of people. I was keeping a count of the ones that I ran into that I had had some sort of sexual contact with (more than kissing). I ended up with 6.

I bitched a lot in the beer line. I talked about how old people should be banned, and kids should be banned, and emos should be banned (even though I like them), and ugly people should be banned, and people over 225 pounds should be banned. It will be nice when it settles down and all of Salt Lake is not at the Gallivan.

There were a lot of quotables too. I can't remember most, but my favorite went a little something like this:
Tyson: [flicks Jarett with a rubber band]
Jarett: Ouch that hurt!
Tyson: You hurt my feelings.
Jarett: What are those?
Tyson: They are little stones that I carry around in my pocket.
Jarett: Well you should lose them because they are worthless and weighing you down.

I learned a couple of things too. The dude I randomly put my arm around last week thinking it was one of my friends only to discover that it was not, was still actually someone I know. Guys are way cruel, especially to women. There are some people that I need to stay away from because they are no good for me, even though they are not doing anything that is particularly bad. Oh and headaches suck.

Foot Fetish

I love flip flops. I love that I get to wear them to work. I love the weather that allows me to wear them. I love that they are the cheapest footwear that I will probably ever own. I love that I have them in argyle so I can wear argyle all year long... I think you get the point.

Flip flops are great, but I have some issues with them as of late. First of all, they break... a lot. I have three pairs of broken flip flops sitting in my closet right now. Two are just brown leather, but one is my pair of red Budweiser flip flops and it devastates me.

Plus they break in awkward places. The first time it happened it was at Lagoon. I am not sure if you have ever put a bare foot on the "fair"way that is Lagoon, but it is gross. I left. Then a couple of weekends ago it happened in the Gateway parking lot. Convenient you may think, especially since I had already been flip flop shopping that week and knew exactly what I wanted, and they happened to match what I was wearing. The problem was that what I was wearing was what I had been wearing the night before, and it was on top of an unshowered body. To make matters worse, the manager of the storing I was going into was someone that I had "dated" once upon a time. I could not deal with the hugging or the pleasantries as I looked like a homeless alcoholic standing in the middle of the store on a Saturday, so I finally said, "I need these in an 11 stat!" Rude.

I was paid back for my rude display in that the flip flops that I bought were medieval torture devices. It was like someone was stabling me in the side of the foot every time i took a step... IN FLIP FLOPS! I have always told women as we walk long distances from party to party in their "dressed to get fucked" heels that they need to suck it up and suffer for fashion. I have done it myself, and have developed nice little calluses to deflect the stabbing pain.

My final issue is that I have a problem finding flip flops I truly like. I have this problem with all shoes, but because flip flops are so funky and varied, there is added pressure for them to be awesome (like the argyles). Rainbows are boring, and I have an issue with Reefs. I applaud them adding in bottle openers, flasks, and even the secret drawer for whatever you need a secret drawer for (no judgments). However, they are ugly. They are sports sandals and I am more of a leather on wood kind of guy (like the medieval torture devices). Even if they just had the simple black fabric like they used to instead of the fabric/leather monstrosities they have now, I would be able to open a Heineken anywhere right now.

Alas, even with my issues my love affair will never end. In fact I think I need to go shopping for some brown leather replacements...