30 September 2008

New Reality Show: Third World America




Tune into your local news and you’ll see it. Seriously when did the United States become a third world country? Okay maybe I am exaggerating a bit, but not by much.

First and foremost, we have this economic crisis. While I do understand some of the hard times, I really don’t get how it got this way so fast. A week or so ago some financial institutions were failing and some people were losing their jobs, but those companies had made bad business decisions, times are tough, so it goes. Fast forward to the end of last week and the US economy is in ruins, all financial institutions are in dire straits, and all that can help us is for the government to “invest” $700 billion, otherwise we will be in a depression by Monday when the Asian markets open. The worst part is that normally this would be political fear mongering in order to get a bill passed, but that was not the case this time. Monday came, the bill did not pass, and the Dow dropped almost 800 points, the most in history (by points, not percentage, but still).

I also look on the news and see that people in the southeast don’t have any gas. WTF?!? Seriously, do you know how much attitude that I would be coping if my local gas station did not even have $4/gallon gas to sell me! Atlanta has a lot of Black people so I am sure an a-bomb (attitude bomb) is going off (I can get away with such racially insensitive comments)! I swear, this is not the 70s. Apparently this is also not the America that I know… and love.

The whole economic situation is whacked. I don’t really agree with the principles of the bailout, that America can invest and ride out the waves until the market gets back to normal, and will eventually get most or all of the money back. Conceptually okay, but in reality I do not think they would get most of the money back. However, that is not what concerns me about the vote. What concerns me is that this was pretty much seen by everyone as the only way to avert crisis, and most of the representatives felt that we probably should pass it. However, they did not vote for it because it was unpopular with their constituents and elections are in a few short weeks, and because Nancy Pelosi shamed the Republican economic policy so Republicans had to pout (although 60% of Democrats voted to pass the bill in comparison to 30% of Republicans).

I know that you have to represent the views of your constituents, but what happened to doing what you believe is right? Why is politics now a ridiculous game of polls and spin. That used to be reserved for the strip club. Honestly I feel sometimes like people just want to say what “sounds good” or won’t get them in trouble instead of speaking the truth and doing what is in the best interest of the country. In fact I think that is a major contributing factor to the situation that we’re currently in. “Well, the economy’s bad, cuz I know nothing about the economy and we’re spending a ton at war. Why don’t I take the Americans taxes, and then give it back to them as an ‘Economic Stimulus Package’.”

I work in advertising so I know that people respond to empty tag lines like, “Lowering taxes,” and “The War on Terror,” and “Spreading Democracy Throughout the World,” and “Enduring Freedom.” However, when you have spent over $500 BILLION on a war that you expected to last only a couple of weeks (we’re 5 years in), you need taxes to pay for it. Fighting a war on terror is great conceptually, but fighting against a concept is a losing battle, as it was with Communism, because the concept will always exist. Instead fight again the physical, bad manifestations of that concept, such as Bin Laden or countries creating nuclear weapons. If we want to spread Democracy, why don’t we start with the US since it is not a true democracy, or socialist France, parliamentary England, or Monaco’s “hop, skip, and a jump away from dictatorship” constitutional monarchy? Other systems do work and we need to pay credence to that, particularly as ours is failing in terms of stability. Don’t even get me started on Enduring "Freedom"...

All I am saying is that America is a great country, but we are starting to lose a lot of the things that made us great. We think largely only of our individual selves, and not in the larger context of the country, let alone the world. Apathy has left us as carcasses for the vulturous spin doctors of politics. So many fought and died across the centuries for us to be apart of the decision making of this country and to build it to be the super power of the world, and we don’t even care enough to educate ourselves in order to make informed decisions. Most have no idea that America is no longer seen as the rich, sexy, supermodel of the world that everyone wants to take to the after party, but rather is now seen as the hot tranny mess that need we need to put in a cab home while making apologize to the Arabic cab driver (too much?).

Anyway, point is we need to get it together. Stop cross-dressing, go to rehab, and build back up your credit by stop spending money on bars and blow, tranny America. If you are lucky enough to have more money than you need, stop being a douchebag by hording and coveting even more, and screwing the rest of the American people. If you want to be a representative of the people of this country, get some balls (or hardy ovaries) and stand up for what you think is right and have honest discussions about your differences of opinion instead of slinging mud, or speaking in vague, non-committing language. If you don’t really care about public policy and the world around us, let’s put you on that MTV Exiled show, send you to North Korea for a week, and see how much you “don’t care”. I love crap television as much as if not more than the next guy, but if it makes it easy for you, think of the news as a reality TV show. You do not need to listen to me, but let’s see where the great US of A goes if we do not heed these warnings.

23 September 2008

Double Whammy



That's right folks not only do we get the Clay Aiken "baby" photo in the new People Mag, but in true Lance Bass fashion he also comes out of the closet!!! Well it's about time. Seriously he would be a really weird guy if he were straight. But what is he going to do now? He has a baby with a much older woman (how very Will & Grace), so how can he sow his rainbow oats? I don't know, but I have a feeling a relationship with Josh Groban is on the way. Stay tuned...

Update: One of Clay Aiken's fans had this to say in the ClayManiacs "Shoutbox" section:

"This is really shocking news as I had no idea he was gay," read a comment posted by "Sheridansq." "And now I have to deal with this. I am not sure what to say to people who know I was a fan. ... I didn't go to work today and am not answering the telephone."

LMAO, are you kidding me? What are people who knew you wrote this post going to say? I have a few ideas. If you had balls enough to tell people you were a Clay Aiken fan, then I think you can deal with this humiliation. Plus I'm sure they already know you're a moron as you couldn't tell HE WAS CLEARLY GAY!

19 September 2008

The Fountain of Youth Smells Like Beer

I live a couple of blocks east of Westminster College and I often am around the University of Utah (trolling for the innocent no doubt j/k). With school starting up again I have been getting very nostalgic. I love the fact that I am a “responsible” adult and have “left” the stupidity of college life behind. However, I love the smell of youthful exuberance in the air. I love the clearly underage freshmen buying beer at the corner store and piling into an overcrowded car as the campy popo (campus police for those of you who aren’t in the know) watch on. I love to see two kids on skateboards holding on to the side of a car and being dragged at 1am. I love seeing the latest kitschy messenger bags and the latest hats which harkens to college radio indie alt rock. Oh how I love rowdy college football celebrations. I swear at this point I am ready to go back and get my MBA so I can stroll around campus and fully immerse myself in it.

However, it also makes me feel a bit old. Somehow my life has switched from hanging out with people that are older than me to hanging out with a lot of people younger than me. I am now part of the “cool” older guys that we hang out with group. I was at my usual bar, and as I stood in line (first problem) I said to Lindsey, “We don’t own this anymore.” She responded, “I know. Kids do. 21 year olds.” I immediately reacted and said, “21 year olds aren’t kids!” as I still in my mind considered myself apart of that young 20 something crowd. You know, the “as long as you can go to the bar, you’re okay” mentality. However, it got me thinking, and there is a huge difference between my late 20s self and those “first” venturing out to the bar. To add insult to injury I found out that a special someone that I have a kindergarten crush on is in fact 21. I wasn’t planning on going after people younger than me until I was in my 40s.

While I am not to the level of giving up that Lindsey clearly is, I still felt old even though I clearly am not. I am now envisioning the complete meltdown I will be having at my 30th birthday party. In the meantime, I am just going to feed off of this youthful exuberance and revel in the fact that even though I may have a few years on them, I also have more money.

11 September 2008

Oh Lord, Here Comes Crazy.

Okay so I may talk to the television a bit... Okay I'll be honest. I scream at the TV. But how can I help it? People on TV are crazy/bitchy/stupid/ridiculous/worthy of a word of concern. Plus, if I weren't always alone maybe I would simmer down, and if I didn't at least I would be talking to someone else. Right? Okay, maybe I have just a touch of the crazy... and I need to get out more.

04 September 2008

Someone's Got Issues

So I have a few issues. I guess we all do. However two of mine are currently plaguing me. First, I think that I might have a fear of commitment... to the wrong person. I stipulate that I think that I am ready for a relationship. I'm pretty sure. I have always been afraid of being alone because I thought that I would never get to a place where commitment is what I wanted, and if I did, it would be too late, i.e. I would get to that place once I was so old and gross no one would actually want me, which is why I would be in "that place". I am mostly kidding about that last sentence. Now I think that the real issue is that I do not want to be committed to someone, just to be committed to someone. I'm not afraid of commitment per se, definitely at this point, but i am very afraid of committing to the wrong person and then being stuck, or even worse stuck, then unstuck at 49.

Second issue, I think I might have a slight shopping addiction. Not typical shopping addiction like malls and stuff, although I do like buying clothes. I did notice that most of my personal email is from retail outlets. However, I like to buy life stuff, like cell phones, eye glasses, groceries, furniture, kitchenware, vacations, cars, and real estate. That stuff could get someone in trouble. Am I seeking adulthood? Am I trying to nest? Do I just like the biggest ticket items possible? I think I might be watching too much VH1 The Fabulous Life of...

It's Over! DEAL WITH IT!!!

To go along with my slight shopping addiction, one of my emails today was from Express. The Subject read "Summer's over - Break out the sweaters." I was obviously stunned.

I have been trying to put off the end of summer for as long as possible. As one of my vendors put it, "Catch summer by the tail." I skipped the beginning of the Utes game last week to do summer activities up in Park City. I have continued to wear flip flops. Seconds ago I got off a phone call planning a Lagoon trip for Gods sake. My premise is that just because it is past Labor Day, which was very early in the month this year might I add, that it is going to stay warm for awhile. If that's the case then I am going t keep that summer joie de vivre until it is time for me to don the argyle sweater.

However, I seem to be losing the battle. As soon as Labor Day hit, it seemed to start getting cooler. People's dressing habits are already beginning to change, and talk in our meetings is already about 4th quarter. I've even turned of the air in the car in order to go with the more environmentally friendly windows, and am wearing my glasses more.

It will be fine. Fall and Winter are fun too, and they are always good for fashion. However, usually towards the end of the summer I get to this point where I just wanted the cooler weather to come, only to want the fun and heat of summer as soon as the snow starts to fly. That wasn't the case this year, as I was determined to enjoy all of the beauty of summer. Maybe I should turn that attitude towards the rest of the year.