The Breakup: Part 2

I have had some time now to reflect on my first breakup (and kind of do it again), so I thought it was about time that I wrote the second part of this blog and list some of the things that I learned from the first go around:

• A RELATIONSHIP IS BETWEEN 2 PEOPLE & FOR THE MOST PART SHOULD STAY THAT WAY! Involving your friends, family, coworkers, and others too much just makes this complicated and causes trouble. It also makes it hard if you want to make decisions that are "unpopular" but are right for you (in the singular and plural sense). Plus for the most part they only get one side of the story.
• The more serious you get, the more work the relationship takes. You would think it would get easier the more in love you are, but it is the exact opposite. Well maybe not the exact opposite, but feelings do make things more complicated in good and bad ways.
  
• I am continually shocked my humanity's capacity to put their hand back on a hot stove. Unless someone does something completely horrible to you to the level where you hate them, you will probably always love that significant other and it is easy to go back to them. People say it takes 10 good things to make up for one bad, but I think it is the opposite in relationships once you have gotten to a certain point.
  
• Ground rules should be placed and followed once you get to a serious area (a region if you will) of a relationship. You both have needs that need to be met, and the structure needs to be there in order to make sure that happens.
• It is surprisingly hard for me to compromise and be flexible in a relationship. I have always felt that in the right relationship you don't have to compromise or at least it wouldn't feel like you were. Don't know where I stand on that, but I am more of an only child than I expected.
• I now know why people in relationships withdraw a bit from their friends. Alone time is key and generally goes more smoothly.
• This I learned from the very wise Mrs. Duh, but it is easy to see why a break up is hard for someone who is broken up with. It is harder to see why it is hard for the person that initiated the break up. The hard thing for them is that they have all of the doubts and what ifs. "Did I make the right decision? Could I have done something differently to make it work?" That and the guilt are what kill.
• Relationships are actually very enjoyable. I always enjoyed being single, but now I much rather be in a relationship (I guess the other thing that I learned was that I am old).
• At this point, I definitely agree with "It is better to have loved and lost..." I don't regret a single second of it.

Update: I actually wrote this awhile ago, but never got around to posting it. I added in a couple of updates in here, but even after some time it still rings true.